Faith Like Abraham
GUEST BLOGGER: RICHARD NASON
“Some of you may remember me from when I previously attended Fellowship Church. I was called away to another area due to family responsibilities so I had to find a new church home sadly but my journey in Christ has not wavered and in fact has grown immensely. I still keep in contact with Rich Pancoast who I consider a very dear and trusted friend. Now allow me to expound upon my journey in these last few years.”
Faith like that of Abraham. Not an easy ask! When I began my journey as a follower of Jesus I thought why can I not have that same kind of faith? Little did I realize that you really should be careful of what you ask for as you just might get it. This last decade has been the absolute worst of my life, from losing my late wife of 25 years, to having a daughter become addicted, to a son telling me he is transgender, to losing my house, to getting Covid, to having my catalytic converter on my car stolen, to experiencing a devastating broken engagement and relationship, etc etc etc. (insert at least 4 other life affecting events here). So it has been the absolute worst 10 years I have ever experienced and yet spiritually, it has been the absolute best 10 years of my life. God has been there through each of these events and has helped me develop my faith deeper and stronger than I ever thought possible. It is in those desert times when we truly have a chance to either crumble and blame God or to look to Him and develop that deeper intimacy. I chose the later!
I have experience many blessings from these trials that I never thought possible, from seeing finances restored, to a daughter coming to Christ, to engaging in a missions trip to becoming a prayer warrior in my current church. God's hand has been there always helping me to move forward. I have attended events and retreats that help me continue on this journey as I still feel I am not where I want to be in my closeness to Him. This faith like that of Abraham requires effort on my part. Jesus has to be first in my life over everything and anything else. (Lots of "little g" gods that we tend to prioritize over our walk with Jesus) That being said, I just returned from one such retreat which really required deep introspection into my thoughts, my priorities and my attitudes. A tremendous amount of prayer, care and love was extended during that time and I came out with some new perspectives on how to allow Jesus my whole heart. I will ask, if you are not ready for that type of devotion, then why not? We can only allow Jesus to pour into us what we pour into Him. We are all like pitchers of water. If we allow a little bit of water into that pitcher then we can only drink a little and then it is gone and your thirst will not be quenched. The more you fill that pitcher the more you can partake and the more your thirst is satisfied. Now consider that Jesus is that unending supply of life-giving and thirst-satisfying water. I want to be filled and satisfied by Him.
I have embraced poetry during these last few years based on the fact that David was a poet and though I may never have the words or experiences he did, I believe this is a gift my Lord has granted to me and so I will enclose a poem from my last encounter with the Father. Some have told me it is my way of journaling and I would have to agree. It is real and raw and vulnerable but I am finding that this is what Jesus asks of us and though this has not been easy, it has been so very necessary to draw closer to my Father. Let me end by not saying "I hope you enjoy" as this is more about how I really felt experiencing this time of introspection and not about pleasing anyone else but Him. It is always about pleasing Him!!!!
Encounter
Father I lay bare my soul for you to see
All of the dark sin that is inherent in me
I am walking this path to draw you ever closer
Leaving my heart and mind open to exposure
My heart and soul ripped open spilling tears
Exposing all the pain and anguish and fears
Emotions and feelings raw and no longer hiding
Trying to fix what is broken inside me
I never expected this encounter to be so hard
To break open the wounds from which I am scarred
Peer deep into those hurtful memories and habits
Prying open all the hidden cracks and crevices they inhabit
Mind and heart must be broken in order to be made anew
Like resetting a broken bone before the healing ensues
A painful process that may tear you apart
Yet one that is necessary to form a Godly heart
In this time of introspection I uncovered those pieces
That held me back from giving you my all, Jesus
The issues that I thought I had under control
Were the very same issues that kept me from becoming whole
Jesus, In order to become closer to you I need to upend
This facade of having it together, I can no longer pretend
I want to embrace all the love you care to give
In harmony with you is where I need to live
Be careful of what you ask for, you just might receive
Renewing means abandoning the self and in Him alone believe
This goes against the grain and will not be easy to perform
Yet so integral to building a life with Jesus, a life reformed
So I surrender to you Jesus, I surrender my will
Bind those scars and habits, your forgiving love instill
Take what is left in me and remake it with your desire
Burn away the barriers left inside and for You, set me on fire