Powering Through
There are moments in our lives that seem so surreal that its difficult to get a footing, sometimes it seems that the situation has us. Or does it? The past few weeks have been difficult for so many, especially when you factor in the trials that many of us have already been dealing with.
Last month I took a trip to New York, where I stood at my mom’s grave looking for a connection. I have lost people before, but not like this. Ever since she passed, I feel like I lost my connection to this world. But I power through, put that smile on and take a step forward until another wave hits and it’s more difficult to smile.
And the next one hit, my daughter Bella who has cerebral palsy was finally walking independently and then a big growth spurt hit. Now standing has now become difficult for her. But once again I put that smile on and march forward. Then, this pandemic hits. We are seeing so many people become ill as well as an economic melt down. Everything is in flux. My employer, a governmental agency of 900 was moved to telework. This has never been done before. I should be thankful I have a job, but I am overwhelmed trying to make sure that the employees that report to me have the ability to work from home.
All of these layers add up and my heart aches….. my faith is tested…….
Where are you God?
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
Funny, the path seems far from straight when I look ahead. But when I look over my shoulder, what appeared to be a mess was really a straight path. So I kind of get it, but for some reason my heart still aches. So I continue to search for answers….
Ephesians 3:17-19 So that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
So for now the entire routine of life is halted, and there are no answers of where life is headed. But I am slowly finding my way by reminding myself of who God is and what we mean to Him. I guess God is also reminding me of where my priorities should be: spending more time with my family, going for walks & bike riding with my kids and family dinners.
If there is anything to gain here, it is the appreciation for the time I have to pray, to worship and to read; and most of all gaining a new appreciation for our church family, Fellowship. I sure miss the people who I don't get to see right now.
In all if this I am encouraged by one of my all time favorite verses in the bible -
Isaiah 40:30-31 Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
God bless, may the Lord be with each and every one of you.