Marriage Advice

Marriage tips.JPG

If you ever need advice on having a good healthy thriving marriage, you need only to go to our INVEST Couple’s Group each Monday. The couples in this group throughout the many years we have offered it are incredibly smart, very intentional and very transparent. They are all growing Christians knowing that the best advice for any relationship is found in God’s Word.

Last Monday we switched it up from our normal discussion and asked each couple to give their best marital advice. The reason? We have a special couple in our group (they’ve attended for the last 4 semesters!) who just got engaged! Here is a couple who have been attending groups to prepare for their future marriage even before they officially communicated they were heading in that direction! They are young, humble and very teachable. I learned from them that this group is GREAT for couples who are heading in the direction of marriage as well as couples who have been married for 50 years!

So we gave them each an opportunity and if you are in a relationship heading in that direction or you’re already married, you’re gonna want to read these:

  • CHRIST first always, then spouse, then children, etc.

  • Remember the love that got you here (the courting, the wooing, etc)

  • Serve together, attend groups together, read the Bible together

  • Never take each other for granted

  • Always gauge each other "How are we....really?"

  • Date often

  • It's OURS now, no longer MINE

  • Have the tough conversation now to avoid a much tougher one later 

  • Avoid too much of a routine, be spontaneous. 

  • Parenting is not an individual thing, it's always together and unified

  • Know each other's heart (they're not out to get you)

  • Talk about expectations (even when it seems obvious)

  • Don't sweat the small stuff (so they don't wash the dishes like you)

  • Everyone has baggage (open the suitcases and discuss)

  • Fight fair (no need to yell, walk away or pout)

  • Be vulnerable, transparent and even weird

  • This is YOUR person, same team, always

  • Recognize temperament - task oriented vs. people oriented

  • Never compare your relationship with others.

  • Neglect the world before you neglect each other

  • Race to the back of the line to serve

  • Grace and mercy always - assume the best in each other

  • Read the following books

  1. I Said This, You Heard That Kathleen Edelman

  2. The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman 

  3. Love and War by John Eldridge 

  4. Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs 

  5. Boundaries in Marriage by Henry Cloud and John Townsend

As I often say and truly believe, marriage when both parties are following and pursuing Jesus Christ, is the closest thing to heaven on earth.

Have any advice you’d like to share?

Rich Pancoast