If I had a nickel every time I warned the kids that their gifts they received on Christmas were affected by their behavior, I would have plenty of left over money to buy more gifts. With the Christmas holiday so close, children naturally get more excited about the toys and cookies and, in turn, lose focus on what we feel is important, doing their chores and finishing their homework. It's an ongoing tension coming to a head on Christmas Eve. Sometimes, I'm not really good at handling this. I tend to overreact. The peace that should come in the season doesn't necessarily show on my face. 

I wonder how I would've done over 2000 years ago as Joseph. How would I have reacted if my girlfriend had become pregnant (not by me) and having the whole town question the both of us. Then, in our search for a place to give birth to the Messiah, there's no room at the Inn. We have to go into this smelly barn with the animals. I imagine my complaints would be heard. I imagine I would say plenty of things I would regret. I imagine my wife (pregnant and certainly uncomfortable in every way) would look at me in disbelief as if to say, "You're kidding right? I'M PREGNANT not you.!" The circumstances were not ideal. But are they ever?

The great thing about following Christ is (or, at least should be) that perfect peace is not dependent on our circumstances, it is dependent on trusting God.

"You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you! Isaiah 26:3

The more we pursue Christ, the more peace we have. I'm not the same person I was many holidays ago and I'm so thankful. He has given me more peace in my life than ever before. In the times where I've lost loved ones, had financial burdens, or was unsure of my career, I had peace. I have Christ. 

What if this was the first holiday you truly leaned into Christ? Sometimes the chaos in our lives stem from our push for independence. We convince ourselves that "we got this!" when all along He's ready to intervene and give you some much needed peace. Trust in Him and see. Your holiday will be different. 

Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
    do not depend on your own understanding.
 Seek his will in all you do,
    and he will show you which path to take.

This holiday is different. There's an empty chair. It's not the same. 

My heart truly goes out to all of you that have lost a loved one and have to go through these holidays without them. The memories of the lost person multiply based on the shared memories of this season. It's extremely difficult to process this throughout the year, let alone the holidays! 

Some of you know of someone who is dealing with this. I want to encourage you to do all you can for those grieving this year. Reach out to them. Pray for them. Be there for them. Talk about their loss - the good memories you have or open the door for them to talk about it.

Most people (not all) want to talk about their loved one they lost. Most, based on my experience, do not want to go about their lives as if nothing happened. For us on the outside, that's the easy way. We can just "sweep it under the rug" and avoid a possibly emotional conversation. But that's not beneficial.  You can be different. You can help them in this process. Maybe you've been through this already-if that's the case, you're the perfect person to help them here. 

Before I lost my parents, I was not someone who helped others grieve. Some of it was because I didn't know what it felt like. I never experienced this type of loss before. Some of it, quite frankly, was selfishness. It didn't affect me so I didn't have to deal with it. Sorry, but that's who I was before Christ. 

So I leave you with this list of asks:

• Remember those who have lost loved ones
• Reach out to them
• Encourage them
• Be there for them
• Talk to them about their loss
• LOVE them

This will be a very difficult holiday season for many. Let's do what we can to help them. Most people are in need of a Christmas presence, not so much the Christmas presents.

So we elected a new president (you may have heard). Wow, I was amazed at all the reactions. Whether it was fear, joy, indifference, or despair - we all saw it. For a week of social media, we heard it all. Some of it with love but most of it without. And that's ok, unless of course, you are a believer of Jesus Christ. You see, this changes the game. Jesus Himself says in John 13:34 "Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love one another." We, as Christians, should know how much He loved us - He died for us! So what exactly are we doing when we post something that we know may be offensive and may drive others to respond? What is our purpose? Most of us deep down know that no matter what we put on social media it will not sway one's opinion. "I remember knowing who I was going to vote for and then I saw so-and-so's post and decided to vote for the other one" said no one ever. 

The pause before the post is crucial. Ask yourselves these questions before doing so: 

• Will everyone really understand what it is I'm trying to communicate?
• Will it encourage others?
• Will this instigate a day full of time wasting, back and forth banter?
• If I'm a Christian, will others see evidence of this in my post? 
• Would this post be better as an actual conversation?
• Who is my audience? Or, has most of my audience abandoned me based on my previous posts? 
• Why am I posting this? Am I looking for a reaction?

I have a good friend that recently really dove into her faith. She leads a small group at our church, serves every week and genuinely loves people. She saw some of her older posts (Facebook memories) and compared it to what she posts today. She couldn't believe the difference. Christ changed what was important to her and she became an encouragement to others because of it.

I wonder what our social media pages tell others.....really. I'm working hard at trying to love as Christ loves. Since we can't see everyone face to face all of the time, sometimes our only "voice" is social media - we need to use it well.

Have you ever prepared Thanksgiving dinner for a houseful of people?  20 people?  30 maybe?  Can you imagine shopping and putting together Thanksgiving food for 1,000 families? That would be quite a challenge, but that is exactly what Fellowship Church and the Middletown Community Thanksgiving Project (MCTP) has done for the last 2 years!

     Though challenging, it is quite rewarding as well. During a time when all we hear in the news is negative, it’s refreshing to see something so great happen right here in our own community and I am so thankful that FC can be a part of it!

     The Middletown Community Thanksgiving Project Committee has been working for months behind the scenes to contact companies and organizations that are able to donate food to go in the baskets.  In a couple of weeks that food will begin arriving and taking over the atrium at our church.  If you haven’t been at FC the Sunday before Thanksgiving in the past…. you’ll want to be there this year.  It’s something you can’t imagine until you see it.

   In addition to this project providing the baskets of food to 1,000 families here locally, we here at Fellowship Church, have seen God do amazing things in other ways. We have several people in our church that are here because of the Thanksgiving project.  They came in past years to volunteer or to receive a basket and were so impressed with the love and generosity here that they knew it was a place they wanted to be each Sunday. 

    It is awesome to see the love of Christ our FCers have for others.  When people come to FC on November 22nd to pick up their baskets they will be greeted by a friendly parking team, a short line and a team of volunteers who will wish them a Happy Thanksgiving and personally carry the baskets to their cars.  The volunteers (and there are a lot of them) all have an attitude of joy as they are able to serve others in their community and be the hands and feet of Jesus.

So are you ready to prepare Thanksgiving for over 1,000 families? Can you help with the challenge?  Bring a pie…or two… or three, to FC on Sunday November 20th.  Pies must be store bought (not frozen) and have an expiration date of Thanksgiving or later. Be a part of something special and help us help others!

I didn't really go to church until I was in my late 20's. All I knew of church from my experience was that it was boring, the people weren't very friendly and I didn't learn a thing. That was my experience. 

A good friend of mine from the fitness club (huge bodybuilder) invited me and my fiancé' at the time, Vicki, to his church. (Looking back, he may have bullied me into going!) He was persistent. He also knew we would like it. We did. But it wasn't what we had church perceived as or what we remembered from our experiences. The music was more upbeat with people standing and even clapping at times. The words were clearly in admiration of this Jesus Christ person, who I was only recently introduced to at the time. The Pastor or speaker spoke in a language I understood and pointed us all to read it for ourselves in this Bible. He was easy to understand, very relevant to what was going on in the world and really inspired my wife and I to return the following week to learn more. It was almost the complete opposite of any church experience I've ever had previously. Maybe that's why it initially felt so strange. 

What is church suppose to be? We all have these preconceived notions based on upbringing and previous experiences. Some of us have been completely let down by the church which, incidentally, will happen when humans are involved. Although Jesus will never let you down.

Nobody leaves the faith based on Jesus, it's always a human's following of Jesus that rubs people the wrong way. 

We all come to church with the baggage of all the experiences we've had. Sometimes this closes our mind and heart to the possibilities of what God has planned for you. If we continue to put all of our stock in people instead of putting our faith in God, we don't stand a chance. 

Our biggest purpose here at Fellowship Church is to introduce people to the hope of Jesus Christ. We know His power by the hundreds of lives He has changed in this building. We have story after story of how God transformed people here. Addiction conquered. Relationships restored. Anxiety and depression gone. New relationships built. 

What are you looking for when you come to church? Is it just to check off your to-do list or is it a possibility of a life changed forever?

I'm so glad Sunday is over! I had the opportunity to speak here at FC. My message "How To Affair-Proof Your Marriage" went into the topics of Adultery and Pornography. I don't know how that happened but God had His plans! 

One of the biggest "advantages" I have in speaking to this congregation is the fact that I have lived a long time "outside of these walls". In other words, I have seen what is now going on in this world. I see so many dangers. It scares me to think what our society will look like when my children are older. I want to do everything I can to tell others what we can do to help. God's Word has all the answers! 

All that said, we as a church, and followers of Jesus Christ, feel an enormous responsibility to preach God's Word with clarity, truth and grace. Sometimes we get the enormous satisfaction of seeing someone take this incredible step in their journey and sometimes we get criticized for the way we preached the message. It comes with the territory. The biggest thing we want from the audience is grace. We want them to know our heart and our intention. 

The other option would be to speak about "unicorns and rainbows" each Sunday but I'm certain that is not what God would want. No, He wants us to be relevant to today's world. He wants people inside this church to relate to what we are talking about. He wants authenticity. He wants the speaking to come from a true example of this faith. Not someone perfect (no such thing aside from Christ) He wants us to only offend with the Gospel not by our actions or words. He wants boldness without brashness. Truth with grace. AND ALL OF THIS WITH LOVE.

I'm giving it all I have. I take this really seriously. I genuinely love people and want the best out of them. I truly believe when one accepts Jesus Christ into their heart, they become a new creation. Life becomes different. I want to help them in this journey in any way I can. 

Guest Blogger: Richard Nason

Let me tell you a little story about a newborn Christian trying to find his way. My journey began much like many of you, realizing that the only way to survive in this world was reaching out for our Savior. It doesn’t matter how we came to Christ but that we did. I found an awesome church and felt quite at home here, feeling God’s spirit alive and well. Loved the Pastor, still do. (insert small chuckle) Attended the membership class and after much prayer and deliberation, finally expressed my faith through baptism. I had started to develop some acquaintances but not really allowing anyone to get too close because quite frankly I was never a people person. This was a great church but getting more involved was a step I was not sure I wanted to take. Up and to the right, hmmmm can I just go to the right!!!!

Then came the call for growth groups, small groups of fellow Christians gathering together to learn more about Christ. I knew that if I truly wanted Christ to enter deep into my heart I needed to learn and grow. So with much trepidation, I joined a group.

Now you might think dear reader that this is the end of the story and everyone learned happily ever after. Actually this is only the beginning of the tale because it never seems to go exactly as we perceive. My group was led by Rich Pancoast and one might think that any group led by Rich would be the most enjoyable and comfortable group that ever existed. Rich is one of those people who are so charismatic and full of energy and the love of Christ that you can’t help but be enthralled with a group that he is leading. But you need to remember that I am not a people person, never have been and certainly felt, never will be. I enjoyed the format but never quite felt at home. Now this was not Rich’s fault by any means. This was totally within myself and I quite honestly was relieved when the group was over and I knew I was never joining a small group again. I would continue to learn about Christ through service on Sunday and through my own personal research. As someone so eloquently stated, It was just not my season!

The ironic thing about being a Christian though is that you can’t do this alone. Though I really didn’t feel that growth groups were for me, I knew that in order to really come to know Christ I would have to do it with others. Even our Lord chose 12 others to join him immediately in His ministry knowing they would form the foundation of the early church. We are all in this together. So in order to become more involved with our church and truly become part of Fellowship I decided to give another growth group a try.

What developed this time around totally amazed me and this is why I am here now penning this story. I cannot tell you what was different, how it happened or even why it happened but I try and see the Lord’s hand in all I do and He must have known that I was struggling a bit on my own and needed a push in the right direction. I ended up developing some very deep relationships with others who have been there with me through my walk in Christ. These are men who I know love the Lord with all their heart and men I have had the privilege of coming to know and grown to love as brothers in Christ. Men who I can depend on and who will be there for me through thick and thin. I have been blessed beyond compare with their friendship and love.

Dear reader, this is a call to you to try a growth group and invest in yourself. We do not know when or how a relationship will develop but know that without trying you may never find the right fit. You might have tried a group before and it didn’t sit quite right with you. That is ok. It just wasn’t your season but please don’t think that your season will never come. As we walk together in the Lord our heart is constantly deepening in love for Christ and at some point in time we will be ready to accept the blessings that come from being involved deeply with others, expressing our faith together and growing in our love for our Savior and one another. We should not and must not be alone when troubles crash over us especially when there are others standing ready to support us as we try and keep our sanity.

Know this also, that every single Leader is there for you! Approach them and tell them how you feel. What is working for you and what is not.  None of us will handcuff you to a chair to keep you there. Wait!!! What a great idea. (Just kidding and laughing to myself) How you decide to grow in Christ is most certainly up to you but we are here to help in any possible way that we can. Ask for help. Ask for prayers. Ask to speak privately. Ask for direction. Please always remember that each of us at some point was where you are now and we sincerely wish to help you grow in Christ. I cannot emphasize this enough, we are in this together!

So please give a Growth Group a try and if it is not the right one, well there is always next time. (Smile)

I remember this person talking forever about something I knew nothing about. I wondered when it would end and if we were going to get out on time. I remember when this one person would continue to "hijack" the conversations with self-promoting and sharing just how much they knew about the Bible. I remember the person who would often fall asleep during the conversations inside a group. Yes, all of this happened in a Growth Group at some stages of my life here at Fellowship Church. 

But here's some other things that happened:

• I remember getting to know some of my very best friends today just because I signed up for a Growth Group.
• I remember having a Growth Group at Hospice in Middlesex where my wife's step-father Bob Schulte, was spending his last days here on earth. He poured into other men and told us all what was most important. Grown men were crying but more importantly learning about what's most important, especially when the time is so limited. (note: All men's groups do not entail crying)
• I remember when couple's made declarations of new commitments to have their relationships thrive. Some today are leading Growth Groups!
• I remember when a brand new person to our church uncomfortably signed up for her first ever group and was nurtured by 2 mature believers who took her in and answered any questions she had. They helped her grow into this incredible leader in such a short period of time. She was baptized and signed up to serve in various areas. 
• I remember when some of our current Growth Group leaders were just attending but now they see the dividends and want others to receive the blessings! 

Growth Groups are not perfect because, frankly, we're not. Our goal in these groups is for people, no matter where they are on their journey, to feel comfortable enough to ask questions and be open-minded enough to learn each week. Sometimes the most uncomfortable steps we take in our faith produce the most incredible results.

What if today is the day you take that uncomfortable step in your journey and get together with others in hopes of strengthening your faith and your friendships? I cannot guarantee a perfect bunch of people in your group but I can guarantee a perfect God to follow in your attempt to be all He wanted you to be. Take a chance. Sign up here.