With Friends Like These.....
Real friends give a eulogy while you’re alive.
I had a tough couple of months in ministry, who hasn’t? An upcoming election, an ongoing pandemic, racial injustice, dealing with bigger decisions than ever before, etc.. More people are in need of prayer today than ever before (at least as I see it). Broken relationships, job loss, and health issues all seem on a rise. At times, I felt drained and I was certainly stressed. It felt never-ending. But this is not about me.
God is so good.
He reminded me of one very important thing throughout this.
FRIENDSHIP
Unintentionally and now maybe even as I look back God-led, during this difficult time, I had several meetings set up with some very good friends. In these meetings, I suddenly felt ‘my cup being refilled’. They encouraged me, they loved me and didn’t need anything from me. No agenda. You see as a follower of Christ, not just one in ministry, we are called to ‘empty our cup’. We are called to pour into others and to love others. The way we show love is action. Checking on people, praying for people and being there for people is as Christlike as we can be. To be this type of friend, we have to ask ourselves these questions:
Are you listening, or are you the one doing all the talking? To be a great friend, we need to listen twice as much as we talk (2 ears, 1 mouth).
Is there substance in your conversations? Weather and sports are not substance. Are you talking about ‘the elephant in the room’ - a broken relationship? an anger issue? The job stresses? Yes, there’s a time for small talk but in order to get close, we need to get real. Walls need to come down. I know men, not easy. We have to realize if we do not take the walks down, they’ll crumble soon anyways….or as my wife said recently “you’ll be alone in your fortress behind those walls”.
Are you ‘yourself’? Are they seeing ‘a version of me’ or ‘the real deal’? Am I the same with my work friends and my church friends? If my church friends met my work friends, would I be allowed back at church? I’m kidding of course but is it that different? Friendship (a good thriving one) needs to get in the muck. We need to be real. There’s no fake in very real relationships. In fact, real friends see through the façade anyway.
Am I intentional? Am I reaching to out to friends? Do I call or text only when I need something? Ask around and see how many people reach out to their friends often. It’s a lost art and a very important one.
We all have those people in our life that once we see their name on our phones calling, we know there’s an ask. I work in ministry, there’s always agenda. I need someone to serve on Sunday. I need a group leaders, etc. I imagine many see my name on their phone and are like “Oh here we go, Rich needs something!” No, God does. Haha.
I work hard at having people understand that my love for them is real. I always pray they know my heart.
Many of you reading this do not have these special friends in your life. I pray you see the need and seek them out. I love these quotes regarding friendship:
“If you go looking for a friend, you’re going to find they’re very scarce. If you go out to be a friend, you’ll find them everywhere.”– Zig Ziglar
“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”— Dale Carnegie
“A true friend is someone who sees the pain in your eyes while everyone else believes the smile on your face.”
Call or text a friend today. Let them know you care. Let them know they’re not alone. It may just be the call or text they needed.