GUEST BLOGGER: Shirley Andersen

     “ If my people who are called by my name will humble themselves, and pray and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land.” 2 Chronicles 7:14

I love this scripture because it’s plain. God says If you,  Then,  I will.   

There are many people that say I don’t understand the Bible when they read it. Plain and simply the Bible says the unlearned and ignorant man perceives not the words of God.  Acts 4:13.  The unsaved don’t understand the Bible like those that are saved and want to learn about God’s Word, daily seeking and praying and wanting to learn the Bible. The use of commentaries and Bible Dictionary or Concordance can help understand difficult passages. But this one is extremely plain and tells you just what to do. We ask through prayer, God answers our prayer when they:

1. Humble themselves

2.  Pray

3.  Seek God’s face

4.  Turn from their wicked ways

     Then

5.  God will hear from heaven will forgive their sin

6.  heal their land

There is something naturally humble in true prayer because it recognizes that the answers are not in ourself but they are in God. The phrase. “My people who are called by my name” was first for the people of Israel. The same God who made this promise to Israel still reigns in the heavens and will still respond to his humble praying people today.  

It says in II Chronicles 6:32-33, “all people of the earth may know your name “ and fear. You as do your people Israel. It’s clear that anyone who acknowledges God’s name and authority may pray with the confidence of God hearing. This passage is similar to others where the invitation is to all who  call upon the name of the Lord.

This promise of answered prayer also includes the condition of repentance. As the people of God humble themselves, pray, seek the face of God, they must also turn from their wicked ways. It wasn’t enough to turn their heart to God; they must also turn their life to God. God simply promises to hear the prayer of his humble prayerful seeking repentant people. He will bring forgiveness to his people and healing to their land. These expressions are best understood as four parts of one attitude, that sinners should seek God himself in humble repentance. 

1. II Chronicles 12:6, Rehoboam and leaders of Israel humbled themselves.

2. II Chronicles 30:18, Hezekiah prayed for the uncleared people of the North. “May God provide atonement for everyone who prepares his heart to seek God. The Lord listened to Hezekiah and healed the people.

3. II Chronicles 11:16, The Levite’s left their common land and came to Jerusalem because Jeroboam would let them serve as priests. So after the Levites left those that wanted to seek the Lord were able to.

4. II Chronicles 30 : 6, If Israel would return to the Lord, your brethren and children will be treated with compassion by those who lead them captive, so that they may turn from their wicked ways, for the Lord God is gracious and merciful and will not turn his face from you.

God answered their prayer as he does all prayers when he heard from heaven, forgave their sin and healed their land. God wants the right actions from us and there are many guidelines throughout God’s word as to what He wants us to do and how to live.

Another reason I love this verse beside it being very clear what we are to do and how God answers. This was the first verse that Andy (my late husband ) and I memorized during the Bible Study and prayer time we ended our dates with. Times have changed and I’m sure things like praying together and reading the Bible together are foreign concepts nowadays. That’s how we started dating, putting God first. God blessed us in so many tremendous ways. In 37 years Andy always had a church to Pastor and preach in. We had 2 remarkable kids, the most talented and beautiful grandkids, and loving daughter-in-law. I’m blessed to be able to have a ministry in my church.

2 Chronicles 7:14, Simply it’s how we should live, humbly praying, seeking God’s face and turning away from our wicked ways.

Remember crowds? Remember going out to dinner with a group? Remember attending concerts, a sporting event, or even a packed church?

We are in a very interesting season right now as everything we once knew and became used to, is gone…for now.

Wherever you work, whatever you do for a living, chances are, it’s a bit different today.

As some of you reading this know, I work at a church. Interestingly enough and some of you already know this, the church is not the building, it’s the people (and for now in person, it’s the first 100 people that sign up for each service!) That sure sounds like an infomercial.

We are figuring out new ways to keep people connected. As we go into February, we are opening up new avenues for people to do what all of us need to do, be with people. This next semester of our FC Groups comes with 6 in person opportunities and 8 virtual options. I want to quickly share with you a few sentences on each and the wonderful leaders we have at FC.

Mondays

BE THE BRIDGE - This groups leader, Mary Madonna has taken such an effort to explore the difficult topic of racism. She has continued to learn from leaders, books and group conversation. We have learned that the best way to educate ourselves is to have uncomfortable conversations. Mary has been more than willing to do so and she does it through the lens of her faith. This group meets at 8PM via ZOOM on Mondays. If you’re interested in joining, click HERE.

STRONGER - This group is led by my wife Vicki and me. I certainly won’t build up the leaders here although I’ll certainly build up the topic. We are striving to better all of our relationships - not just spouses as this is a group for anyone - but friends, co-workers, family, and everyone else you come into contact with. Jesus had a way of interacting with others and He’s the example to follow. We’d love to have you join us on Monday evenings 6:30PM via ZOOM. Click HERE to sign up!

Tuesdays

REAL MEN, REAL PROBLEMS - Casey McLeod leads this group. Casey is so unique (in such a good way!). Casey is always real, very real. I appreciate that about him so much. It’s been said, “You can’t fix fake!” Casey will ‘keep it real’ here as the goal is to come into an environment (in person or via ZOOM) and help other men in any way we can. This will be a weekly check in with an effort to lift others up and encourage them. Join up HERE.

KILLING KRYPTONITE - This group is being led by one of my favorite people, Dennis Bishop. Dennis loves Jesus and you’ll see that in this group. This is a book and video group and will meet in person on Tuesday evenings at 6:30PM in our FC Kidz environment. All in person groups are limited spots so grab yours today! Not for the faint of heart, Killing Kryptonite is anything but a spiritual sugar high. This is a serious truth for any Christ-follower who longs to embrace the challenging but rewarding path of transformation. Sign up HERE.

FINANCIAL PEACE UNIVERSITY - Pastor Andy along with Lisa Frank and Cullen Nauck will be leading this Tuesday evening 6:45 ZOOM group. Whether you’re broke or thriving, this group is good for you. This is a life-changing money course that teaches you how to crush debt, invest in your future, and win with money like never before. You’ll learn how to take complete control of your money—and get the tools you need to make it happen. And by the way, it’s FREE! See details on our website! To sign up for this group, click HERE.

Wednesdays

I SAID THIS, YOU HEARD THAT - The title kinda sells it right away, huh? All of us have been misunderstood and many said something they regretted. Our mouths can certainly get us into trouble. This is why I love this book study! This group will help us learn other people’s temperaments and better equip us to interact with them, even the polar opposites of you! Jeff Caiola and Matt Vogt already do this so well so they’ll be leading! This will change every relationship you have! Sign up HERE.

CHRIST’S KITCHEN - If you’ve never met John and Michele Vigneri, the leaders of this group, you’re already missing out. These two are so special. Their energy, joy and love for Christ is contagious. Join them in person for an evening of loving fellowship and biblical discussion while preparing and cooking a meal and then enjoying it together as Jesus did with His disciples. A group with food!! Spaces are limited, so sign up HERE today!

DRAW THE CIRCLE - Trouble in your prayer life? Not sure how to pray? Feel like God is not listening? This group shares 40 of those true, faith-building stories of God’s answers to prayer, along with daily scriptures and prayer prompts. You will leave this group with a far better prayer life and understanding of its importance in our lives. Ken Morrison leads this group. Ken has been exploring prayer for a while now as this is his 3rd group on it! Sign up HERE.

CHRISTIAN - The word isn’t what it used to be. "Christian" is a brand that can be good, bad, attractive, or repelling. It's a loaded label no matter whom you ask. But where did the word come from? And did it come with instructions? In this group, we will reexamine the word "Christian" and revisit the one thing Jesus wanted his followers to be known for. You will love this groups leader, Stacey Czepiel who is really one of the strongest believers I know. She’s the real deal and you’ll love spending time with her. Sign up HERE as spaces are limited in this in person group Wednesdays 6:00PM at FC.

Thursdays

FIRST JOHN - I love morning groups and I love this groups two leaders, Patrick Ringrose and Anthony Jenkins. Their top priority daily is to love others as Christ loves us. This book study on 1st John is all about that. Join them Thursday mornings 6:30AM via ZOOM to start your day off right! Sign up HERE.

PARENTING WITH COURAGE - Moms, this is the group for you! Kayleigh Mierzejewski is probably the most positive person I know and a great mom! In every interaction I have with her, I leave happier! She’s like that. Parenting in 2020-2021 has been so difficult! We all need some encouragement and a perspective. You’ll leave each ZOOM Thursday evening group inspired to parent better. Sign up HERE.

THE STORY OF GOD - So many questions in our faith journey. Groups allow permission to ask. Here in this group, you’ll get to explore the Old Testament and see how it leads into the New Testament. You’ll learn more about the promises of God and how you fit into them. Join this group to listen to the stories that God has inspired and take part in a lively discussion about what you have heard. God’s Story certainly is an amazing one and it’s led by an amazing leader, Laura Wilson who has grown more in these last several years than anyone I know. She has a thirst for Jesus and is a living example every day! Sign up HERE.

RECONNECT YOUNG ADULT GROUP - Our future looks bright. We have so many young adults (18-32) here that are facing things no one else ever had to. This bi-weekly group talks about the things this age group deals with and talks about God’s take on it. Each group is led by someone different with a topic of their choice. We’ve explored friendship, success, social media, racism, among many others. this is a great opportunity to get to know others in your age group and season of life. Hop in on the conversations and join HERE.

REFLECTIONS WOMEN’S GROUP - This is something new! A group that meets 3 times a week! So many of you are craving more time with God. This group contains guided journal with leading questions and Scripture verses. 3 days 45 minutes each via ZOOM. This groups leader, Chalice Wilson will put a smile on your face. Her love for Jesus is very clear. She has been leading groups here for a long time! This group starts on February 10th. Sign up HERE.

A lot of groups, A lot of opportunities to grow in your faith. If you’re like me, you cannot imagine taking on all that we’ve had to this last year without Jesus. These groups keep me level headed and grounded. They keep me aware that everything really is going to be ok. They’re reassurance, inspiration and growth all tucked into a hour. I truly hope you get involved!

This year (2020!), despite all the negativity and disagreement in politics, I’ve seen some great things:

• Weddings

• New babies

• First days of school

I have been in touch with so many people I would have never been able to otherwise. I get to chat with so many that I grew up with (Highlands -Westlake shout out). I get to interact with the many people of my church, not just on Sundays. Technology is amazing!

If this year has taught me anything, it’s that there is always a positive.

Now I know for some of you reading this, 2020 has been horrendous. Covid has changed who you’ll be with this holiday season (maybe that’s a good thing?!?) Thanksgiving and Christmas 2020 will certainly be different.

Loss of family members comes immediately to mind. My heart breaks for you especially as we go into the holidays. In fact, many of you I am praying for and I hope you feel that. Loss of parents, spouses and children - heart wrenching. I pray you can think of those you lost and remember all the great memories you’ve shared along the way. I also pray you reach out to others, especially in those tougher moments. So many would love to help in any way they can.

As I conclude this short scattered blog , I guess my real point is to press on. Don’t allow the negativity to overcome the hidden positives. Perpective and gratitude daily keep us in check. Wake up every morning thinking first of all you have (family, friends, shelter, food, a job, etc.) Don’t allow reminders of what you don’t have start the day.

For those of you with faith, start daily thanking Him for sending His Son to die on a cross for you and me. We did nothing to deserve it but we reap the benefits. Our time here on earth is significant but it’s short. One day we’ll be in heaven wondering why we allowed all this negativity to control our minds and not Him.

1 Thessalonians 5:18 Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. All circumstances.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you!

GUEST BLOGGER: Dennis Bishop

As I write this, by the grace of God I am celebrating 40 years of being clean and sober. As I look back on my life I realize how blessed I am to be alive.

About two years ago I was diagnosed with depression, not debilitating depression like some people experience, but persistent depressive disorder. This is a mild long-term form of depression. I almost always would look at things from a negative perspective. I remember once in a church board meeting Pastor Steve saying to me “Why are you always so negative?” Now I know why. Now I can see that I have experienced this since I was a child.  As a child, I would sit in my room crying and think about ways to kill myself. Don’t get me wrong I had great parents and loving brothers and sisters, it’s just the way my brain was wired. There was a 22 rifle in my closet and I would think of ways to set it up so that when someone came in my room, opening the door would cause the rifle to shoot me as I sat on my bed.

In high school, I got introduced to alcohol and drugs. Not what a depressive person needs. I joined the military and alcohol became a major factor in my life. It was in the military that I attempted suicide by taking an overdose of Darvocet pain pills. Getting your stomach pumped is not fun. But thoughts of death would pop into my mind regularly. Thoughts like “just pull out in front of that truck” or “drive into that bridge abutment”, or “just snort all this coke now”, and other crazy thoughts. To be honest some of these thoughts still enter my mind periodically. But they are just thoughts and I don’t have to act on them. I also used to think that depressed people just needed to “snap out of it” but now God has shown me that that’s not how it works. In now dealing with my depression (and I do take a medication for it, which I also used to think was a cop out for dealing with these types of issues), I see it was a gift from God to be able to help and have compassion for other people with the same health problems.

That brings me to two “What If” questions.   

• What if I failed in attempting to take my life? What if I ended up paralyzed or having an irreversible brain injury or could no longer care for myself? What would that have done to my family as they would have been responsible to take care of me for the rest of my life? I never thought how that would affect them as I was only thinking about myself.

• What if I had been successful in ending my life? What would I have missed in life? Well first I would have missed discovering God’s loving grace and the gift of eternal life through Jesus Christ. I would have missed the wonderful things that have unfolded in my life since I began a relationship with Jesus, the King of Kings and Lord of my life.  I would not have learned how to deal with pain; emotional, mental, physical, learning that all these things will pass (maybe not in my time but always in God’s time). I’d have missed being able to endure the pain in life that helps me grow in my faith. I would not have met my beautiful wife who has stuck by me through thick and thin. I’d miss having two wonderful awesome children and a beautiful godly daughter-in-law. I wouldn’t have a business doing something I love. I would have missed the fantastic godly people who are in our church now and those that have left to follow where God led them. They all have been a godsend to me because I can trust them with my life’s ups and downs and they are always there for me.

  
  Nothing lasts forever except God and our souls. Life comes with the good and the bad, both come and go. But God never forsakes us or leaves us alone. While you may not be able to handle what is going on in your life right now, God is more than able. Suicide is a long term solution to a temporary problem. 

  
  Jeremiah 29:11 states “For I know the plans I have for you”, says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”

  
  There is so much I would have missed if I had ended my life. Pain comes and pain goes. Joy comes and joy goes. Peace comes and peace goes. This is just the rhythm of life. Don’t throw away the future and hope God has planned for your life! One day there will no longer be any more pain but only joy and peace. We all can endure until that day if we give everything to God and develop close friendships with godly people who will also carry our burdens. Galatians 6:2 says “we are to bear one another’s burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ”.

  Life is worth living. If you end it prematurely you will never know what God had planned for you and all the people’s lives you would have impacted. We need you!

Real friends give a eulogy while you’re alive. 

I had a tough couple of months in ministry, who hasn’t? An upcoming election, an ongoing pandemic, racial injustice, dealing with bigger decisions than ever before, etc.. More people are in need of prayer today than ever before (at least as I see it). Broken relationships, job loss, and health issues all seem on a rise. At times, I felt drained and I was certainly stressed. It felt never-ending. But this is not about me.

God is so good.

He reminded me of one very important thing throughout this.

FRIENDSHIP

Unintentionally and now maybe even as I look back God-led, during this difficult time, I had several meetings set up with some very good friends. In these meetings, I suddenly felt ‘my cup being refilled’. They encouraged me, they loved me and didn’t need anything from me. No agenda. You see as a follower of Christ, not just one in ministry, we are called to ‘empty our cup’. We are called to pour into others and to love others. The way we show love is action. Checking on people, praying for people and being there for people is as Christlike as we can be. To be this type of friend, we have to ask ourselves these questions:

• Are you listening, or are you the one doing all the talking? To be a great friend, we need to listen twice as much as we talk (2 ears, 1 mouth).

• Is there substance in your conversations? Weather and sports are not substance. Are you talking about ‘the elephant in the room’ - a broken relationship? an anger issue? The job stresses? Yes, there’s a time for small talk but in order to get close, we need to get real.  Walls need to come down. I know men, not easy. We have to realize if we do not take the walks down, they’ll crumble soon anyways….or as my wife said recently “you’ll be alone in your fortress behind those walls”.

• Are you ‘yourself’? Are they seeing ‘a version of me’ or ‘the real deal’? Am I the same with my work friends and my church friends? If my church friends met my work friends, would I be allowed back at church? I’m kidding of course but is it that different? Friendship (a good thriving one) needs to get in the muck. We need to be real. There’s no fake in very real relationships. In fact, real friends see through the façade anyway. 

• Am I intentional? Am I reaching to out to friends? Do I call or text only when I need something? Ask around and see how many people reach out to their friends often. It’s a lost art and a very important one.

We all have those people in our life that once we see their name on our phones calling, we know there’s an ask. I work in ministry, there’s always agenda. I need someone to serve on Sunday. I need a group leaders, etc. I imagine many see my name on their phone and are like “Oh here we go, Rich needs something!” No, God does. Haha. 

I work hard at having people understand that my love for them is real. I always pray they know my heart.

Many of you reading this do not have these special friends in your life. I pray you see the need and seek them out. I love these quotes regarding friendship:

• “If you go looking for a friend, you’re going to find they’re very scarce. If you go out to be a friend, you’ll find them everywhere.”– Zig Ziglar

• “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”— Dale Carnegie

• “A true friend is someone who sees the pain in your eyes while everyone else believes the smile on your face.”

Call or text a friend today. Let them know you care. Let them know they’re not alone. It may just be the call or text they needed.

GUEST BLOGGER: Karen Greenwood

Three thousand feet above Connecticut’s coastline yields an interesting perspective. It’s where I found myself the Sunday before Labor Day, in the passenger seat of an unnervingly small, single-engine  Pieper airplane. Yes, the kind that feels more like a tin can than an aircraft. 

It was perfect flying weather: blue skies, gentle winds, great sight lines. It was just the morning my husband and his pilot friend, Alex, had been waiting for to take me on my first flight in a “little plane.”

I’m not a great flyer. I’ve adjusted to big commercial planes, where there’s less turbulence and movies and snacks to distract me. The tin cans? Not something I ever thought I could handle. No point in praying for courage. It just wasn’t going to happen.

Then something changed. My husband and son were flying around with Alex, island hopping, tracing the path of the Hudson River into NYC. Their adventures sounded amazing. I wanted to go. Alex is a terrific pilot. My husband would be with me. I asked God for strength.

Our destination was Block Island, a quick 35-minute hop from New Haven’s Tweed. We took off early in the morning, and our route took us  over Long Island Sound, skimming the Connecticut coastline, before heading into Rhode Island. 

I climbed onto the wing to board and hesitated, just an instant, before stepping down into my seat. I said a prayer in my head, but it occurred to me that it wasn’t so much courage that I needed. It was trust. Did I believe God was with me, really and truly, down in my bones? Yes. Then get in the plane. Whatever is going to happen is going to happen. He will be with you.

Take-off was fine—that first instant of buoyancy, when you’ve left the ground and only the engines—and the mechanic who is hopefully maintaining them—are keeping you aloft. 

As we climbed higher, I struck what I jokingly call my “frozen squirrel” pose. Have you ever watched a squirrel at the instant when something scares it? They don’t run off immediately or rush up a tree. They freeze, mutely staring, trying to assess the danger.

There was nowhere to run on the plane, so I just held the freeze for a number of minutes. I must have looked ridiculous.

Alex pretended not to notice. He was a God-send. Patient and reassuring, he explained exactly what he, and the plane, were doing and why. There is nothing to fear. And I thought, God does this, too. He lets us know—sometimes not as quickly or as plainly as we’d like—what he’s doing in our lives. He’s got ways of talking us through things. The problem is that we’re not always good listeners.

As we reached our cruising altitude of 3,000 feet, I felt myself loosening up, relaxing. The seaside estates of Guilford and Madison appeared, the Thimble Islands, Fisher’s Island. All this incredibly expensive real estate—really just strips of land, chunks of boulders, plunked down in an endless sea.

A quiet simplicity was coming to me, high above all the human turmoil that brews down below. I felt a nudge: Offer compassion and forgiveness to those who have offended you. What they think or believe or understand doesn’t matter. Do as God would have you do and move on. The rest will fall away. It’s not important.

I’ll try.

I began to even feel comfortable. I turned my head to look out the windows. The sea below really was beautiful, smooth and expansive, dotted with small boats, stretching away into the horizon.

What an interesting snapshot we must have made at that moment: The vast sea, the jumbled rocks sticking up out of it, my husband’s hands resting on my shoulders, the frozen squirrel slowly fading. And Alex at the controls, talking me through, step-by-step. “I’m lowering the flaps to slow the plane down. You’re going to notice a dip. It’s normal to feel these things.”

Block Island’s tiny airstrip loomed as we descended. I felt a sudden dip. No big deal. We landed without a hitch. My heart rose with joy and relief.  He knows what He’s doing.

GUEST BLOGGER: Kevin Wilhelm

“This is the message you have heard from the beginning: We should love one another” 1 John 3:11

I’ve spent much time lately reflecting what faith has to say to me regarding current events which have pretty much rocked the world for so many.

I think about unconditional love and how incredibly powerful it is.  To know God loves us all the same no matter what.  I think about how Jesus always expressed love for everyone but made sure to lift up people society had oppressed and often treated unjustly – the poor, widows, orphans, prisoners -  to name a few that are most commonly cited in His Word.  He called us back then and calls us now to pay special attention to people who society has and still does treat unjustly. 

I don’t think Jesus judged people’s circumstances that led them to be marginalized in order to love them.  He didn’t assess their worthiness of His love.  He just loved them because they were His and encouraged everyone else to love them as well.  Jesus sometimes called out people who were oppressing others yet always modeled love in his actions, words and behavior.  

I think about people who continue to be oppressed.  I believe with my whole heart that today Jesus is calling us to lift up our black and brown brothers and sisters.  Not that He loves them more because, yes indeed, all lives matter to Him.  But I believe He wants us to pay attention to unjust treatment, to see what is going on in our neighborhoods, our state, our nation and our world.  He is forcing His attention, and thus our attention, on black and brown people because He wants us to love each other unconditionally as He does.  

I think about my priorities.  Love God first by way way way way way more than anything or anyone else.  We honor God by setting him far above our country and even our own families.  Lately I hear a lot more talk about country than I do God from many people.  From Christians and non-Christians.  Of course we should love our country, our families and our church but only second to our God.  

I think about my recent struggles to have difficult conversations about racism with some of my fellow believers.  At times I’ve failed myself, and more importantly, I’ve failed God, because I haven’t let Him be the focus of our conversations.  I’ve had to apologize for my pride getting in the way.  I need to do better.  I need to let go of my ego, to surrender this to God.  He is truly the only solution.  

When I’m confused or hurt or doubtful I turn to the Bible.  I want His advice on what to do, how to think and act. “Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and one purpose.”  Philippians 2:2.  

I think that’s all I need to know.  Keep it simple.  Love each other, be united in Christ and make God happy.  

If you ever need advice on having a good healthy thriving marriage, you need only to go to our INVEST Couple’s Group each Monday. The couples in this group throughout the many years we have offered it are incredibly smart, very intentional and very transparent. They are all growing Christians knowing that the best advice for any relationship is found in God’s Word.

Last Monday we switched it up from our normal discussion and asked each couple to give their best marital advice. The reason? We have a special couple in our group (they’ve attended for the last 4 semesters!) who just got engaged! Here is a couple who have been attending groups to prepare for their future marriage even before they officially communicated they were heading in that direction! They are young, humble and very teachable. I learned from them that this group is GREAT for couples who are heading in the direction of marriage as well as couples who have been married for 50 years!

So we gave them each an opportunity and if you are in a relationship heading in that direction or you’re already married, you’re gonna want to read these:

• CHRIST first always, then spouse, then children, etc.

• Remember the love that got you here (the courting, the wooing, etc)

• Serve together, attend groups together, read the Bible together

• Never take each other for granted

• Always gauge each other "How are we....really?"

• Date often

• It's OURS now, no longer MINE

• Have the tough conversation now to avoid a much tougher one later 

• Avoid too much of a routine, be spontaneous. 

• Parenting is not an individual thing, it's always together and unified

• Know each other's heart (they're not out to get you)

• Talk about expectations (even when it seems obvious)

• Don't sweat the small stuff (so they don't wash the dishes like you)

• Everyone has baggage (open the suitcases and discuss)

• Fight fair (no need to yell, walk away or pout)

• Be vulnerable, transparent and even weird

• This is YOUR person, same team, always

• Recognize temperament - task oriented vs. people oriented

• Never compare your relationship with others.

• Neglect the world before you neglect each other

• Race to the back of the line to serve

• Grace and mercy always - assume the best in each other

• Read the following books

1. I Said This, You Heard That Kathleen Edelman

2. The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman 

3. Love and War by John Eldridge 

4. Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs 

5. Boundaries in Marriage by Henry Cloud and John Townsend

As I often say and truly believe, marriage when both parties are following and pursuing Jesus Christ, is the closest thing to heaven on earth.

Have any advice you’d like to share?